An essay about death of a loved one
Now, I am very appreciative of their kind thoughts. This was such an odd occurrence that I now always associate butterflies with my aunt. Whenever I see a butterfly, I think of my aunt and imagine that she is watching over me. This association came later in the grieving process and is an example of what has been termed continuing bonds.
At the house, someone had laid out plates and plates of food. There was even more food including seven hams in the refrigerator and freezer. At the time, the last thing any of us could think about was eating, and I thought how bizarre it is that when someone dies, friends and neighbours rush over with casseroles and hams. After reflecting upon this experience, it seems that this is their way of showing they care. While they cannot really do anything to ease our suffering, they can at least ensure that the family has all of their material needs so that they can focus their attention on the grieving process.
The family gathered around albums of photos. We told stories about my aunt. This reminiscing meant a lot to me. At last, I had a chance to talk to people who knew my aunt.
All of these stories were very therapeutic for me. They gave me further knowledge about my aunt and solidified my conception of her as being a defining influence on my life.
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How I lived my life was a reflection of her. Without her, I would not be who I am now. The way in which I look at this is another example of a continuing bond, though this one is more intangible than the butterflies mentioned above. Now that I am fully able to embrace this idea, I feel that I have moved through the grieving process, at least for the primary loss of my aunt.
I still have not, however, fully dealt with the secondary loss. Perhaps we remind him too much of his wife. Perhaps he feels that he has no connection to us without her as she was our blood relative. Valentine remarks that bereavement has been traditionally marginalized and that the primary goal of grief counselling has been the severing of ties and attachments with the deceased. Kubler-Ross developed a five-stage model for the grief process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Each of these theories seems to conceive of grief as a linear process: there are stages that an individual must pass through on the way to accepting, or adjusting to, their loss.
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For me at least, these theories do not describe my own experience of dealing with grief. In an earlier work, Bowlby outlined his theory of attachment, whereby individuals develop emotional bonds with others. Death disrupts this attachment bond, and the bereaved then passes through four phases: numbness and disbelief, yearning and searching, disorganization and despair, and reorganization Bowbly, In my experience, I had definitely developed an attachment bond with my aunt.
When my mom first told me that my aunt had died, I was in disbelief. I began to pass through the second stage immediately after the funeral. All of the reminiscing my family did gave me an outlet for my preoccupations with thoughts of my aunt. Once I returned home, her death really hit me stage three. I was once again geographically distanced from my family, and I was beginning to realize that I would never have the chance to talk to my aunt again, to ask for advice, and to go for walks on the beach.
Eventually, I was able to get to stage four through the acknowledgment of continuing bonds. Klass, Silverman, and Nickman presented the idea of continuing bonds.
10 Tools To Heal After The Loss Of A Loved One - Christina Rasmussen
This model contrasts traditional notions of bereavement in that it does not emphasize completely detaching oneself from the deceased. By creating continuing bonds, the bereaved can continue to have a sort of relationship with their loved one after death. For me, I have developed two continuing bonds with my aunt.
This occurs when the grieving person wants life to be like it used to be when the deceased was still alive and well.
They essentially fixate on going back in time in order to prevent the death from happening in the first place. This keeps the person focused on the past — and they avoid dealing with the emotions of the present, the reality of the deceased.
5 Tips If You’re Writing Your College Essay On Losing A Loved One
When daily habits become a burden, and joy is hard to find in any event or experience. It is not a mental illness at this point, per se, but a natural response to loss. In this stage, the griever allows himself or herself to begin accepting the loss. This is crucial to healing — experiencing these emotions for this reason. The fifth and final stage of the grieving process is acceptance. It is not the cure to grief, as the loss of a dearly loved one can impact a person for the rest of their lives.
Acceptance only means the person who has lost a loved one is ready to try and move on — to accommodate themselves in this world without the loved one. This is a process that everyone experience in one shape or form. By working through overcoming the death of a loved one, you will come to a place of accepting the death as a reality. You will find yourself able to move forward and embrace your life without your loved one by your side.
Your process through bereavement and grief are your own. Above all, be kind to yourself and know that you will wake one day and find the pain is less, and life can go on. Menu 0. Meditation Seating Cushions Bolsters Chairs. How to Overcome the Death of a Loved One. Step 1: Allow the feelings Coping with the loss of a loved one brings up almost every emotion imaginable.
Step 2: Gather support While there may be times as you are coping with loss when you'll wish to be alone, it's important to gather a support group around you for those times when you might need them. Step 3: Allow the grieving process Bereavement and grief is a process.
These stages are: Denial : Your experience is incomprehensible, initially. You find it impossible to believe the loss of your loved one is real, and you may be numb from the experience. This anger may be directed at yourself, the loved one for leaving you, doctors for not healing your loved one or even at God.